i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Randomize
