How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
