umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
