Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
