I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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