i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
