When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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