My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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