Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Dick very happy bro
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
