Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
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