Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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