ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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