Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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