Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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