I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
