my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
