The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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