are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
