ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
