You can't motorboat a personality
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
