before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
