I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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