after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
