And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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