I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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