You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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