I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
