Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
