There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
