Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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