I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I am midnight drunk by noon
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
