My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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