I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
