just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
