Please, let me fuck your mom
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
