we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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