brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
