You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
