Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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