Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Can Purell be used as lube?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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