saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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