Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You've changed since you got that strap on
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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