I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
