We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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