I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
