if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
