Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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