I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
