we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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