This girl is more easily done than said...
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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